How to identify a husband material

19 signs he’s a husband material

When a woman wants to settle down, she wants to settle where she will be happy and have peace of mind. A lot of women are running into marriages today without taking their time to find out if the man is good enough for marriage. Every man above the age is 18 is qualified for marriage but not every matured man is a good husband material. You may ask yourself this question (s)

  • What is a husband material?
  • What is a good husband material?
  • What does it mean to be a husband material?
  • What are the signs he’s the right one?

Going by definition, a husband material is a man you consider good enough to settle down with and spend the rest of your lives together. The major question here is

What makes a man a good husband material?

What are the qualities and characteristics that almost every woman should look out for in her future husband? We have taken our time to research properly on this topic. This article is written based on the opinions of over 100 women globally

Here are the Top 19 qualities and characteristics of a good husband material


Independence isa quality of a good husband material. He doesn’t need to be a millionaire or rich, he doesn’t need to have a fancy place to be qualified as a husband material. He only need to have a place of his own and be able to pay his own bills without depending on his parents or your parents.

If he still stays with his parents, does not plan on moving out soon and depends on them to pay his bills, he’s definitely not a husband material.


Respect is very important, a man who truly and genuinely respects women is a good husband material. When it comes to settling down with a man, respect should be your top priority. This goes beyond just you, look out for a man who is polite to you and other women out there.

A man who is rude and arrogant to women is not someone you should consider settling down with. A man who uses abusive words to describe a woman, a man who follows multiple porn accounts and chases every female around is definitely not a good husband material.


No human is perfect, we all have our down sides and shortcomings. If he sees you for who you truly are, if he knows and accepts your shortcomings without judging you, he is definitely a good husband material.

He will allow you to be yourself and make you feel comfortable being you around him, because he loves you for who you truly are.


You cannot qualify a man as a good husband material if he doesn’t pay attention to you. If he pays absolute attention to you, if he prioritize you and make you his center of attraction, he is definitely a good husband material. Men pay attention to where their heart is, they pay attention to everything she is doing and notices everything around her


If the relationship is important to him, he will prioritize it and keep it first before anything. If the relationship is the most important thing to him, he is definitely a good husband material. Marriage is a serious relationship that requires a lot of efforts to make it work. Find yourself a man who knows the importance of the relationship and is always willing to fight for the relationship


Family and friends is the most important circle in every individual’s life. One of the most important and best quality of a good husband or a potential husband is how he treats his own family and friends as well as your family and friends. He surely understands how important family is to every individual’s life and how valuable friends are.His family is important to him, how about your family? Does he care about them as a people? Does he treats and consider them his family too? Does he make efforts and try to blend in? A good husband material is that man who is interested in building a good relationship with your family, he accepts, respects, value and treat your family as his.


This is a very rare quality that you can find in men of today’s world. If he is willing and ready to let go of anything in order to be with you, if he is willing and ready to lose it all and start all over with you, he is definitely a good husband material. How sweet it is to have a man that will chose you over anything? He is willing and ready to let go of everything that stands in his way with you, that shows how valuable you are to him.


Your husband or future husband should be your greatest inspiration.A good husband material is a man who always pushes you to become the best at all cost.

He loves and accepts you for who you are, but at the same time want you to become the best. The way he lives his life and treats you makes you want to do better for him and yourself.

If he wants you to pursue your wildest dreams, if he wants you to break your bad habits and maintain the healthy lifestyle you have always wanted to live, he is definitely a good husband material.


Royalty and honest are rare qualities to find in an individual nowadays. Honesty and royalty should not be 50/50. It should be majored on 100%. If he tells you the truth about everything, If he doesn’t hide anything from you, if he involves you in everything he is doing, he is definitely a good husband material.

A good husband material is a man that never let his woman feel like she is not good enough for him,  he never put her in a position where she doesn’t know where she is standing with him.


His core values is very important if you are considering to settle down with him in marriage, core values are very essential in every marriage.If he share same vision of the future as you, if he shares same values, moral code, lifestyle as you, he is definitely a good husband material.

Both of you need to be on the same page for your marriage to work. Are you both ready to settle down and get married? Do both of you feel the same about having children? Is he on the same page as you when it comes to making important decisions? If yes, then he is definitely the one.


Conflicts and disagreements are part of every relationship. The question is how do you handle and resolve these conflicts and disagreements? A husband material knows how to resolve conflicts in a healthy way without things escalating. If he manages to talk to you and tries to solve conflicts, he is definitely a good husband material


Women like every other human loves humor. A man’s ability to make a woman laugh is another desired trait and quality of a good husband material. Great sense of humor is very important in a man. If he makes you laugh even if it means being silly to enlighten your day, if he is a good company and can keep you entertained, he is definitely a good husband material


A good husband should consider his woman a life partner. Some men out there consider women as minor the same way they consider kids. If he respects your ideas, thoughts, interest and makes sure he consider your opinions before making any decisions, he is definitely a good husband material.

It could be a big decision like starting a new company, moving to a new city, buying/building a house or a small decision like ordering lunch or where to have dinner. If he considers your input and makes sure that you are part of every decision making, he is definitely a good husband material.


Trust is a key element in every successful relationship or Marriage. If he never gives you a reason to doubt him or make you feel insecure, if he makes you feel like you can trust him with your eyes closed, he is definitely a good husband material.


Compassion is another important quality of a good husband material. Every woman deserves a man who can feel for others. If he shows that he cares for you and others, if he is that hero in your eyes, he is definitely a good husband material.


 A woman should only settle down with a man who is capable of making decisions, not a man that is always sitting on the fence. If he is decisive, he is definitely a good husband material.


One of the major quality and characteristics of a good husband material is a man that believes in himself. If he is aware of who he is and believes in himself, if he knows what he wants and goes for it, if he is aware of his potentials, he is definitely a good husband material.


Emotional maturity is another vital characteristics you should consider why choosing a man to settle down with. If he is matured enough to take charge and responsibilities, if he can own his mistakes and apologize when he is wrong, he is definitely a good husband material.


This is one of the essential qualities that is fast eroding in our current society. Money habits is something you should also consider before settling are own with a man as a woman. Take a good look at how he spends, his debt, his investment, his credit scores etc.

The reason for looking into this is not to see if he is broke or rich. The goal is to see how he spends and manages finance.


Marriage is one of the biggest decisions an individual can make in life. The goal is to get married and spend the years happily with your spouse. One must select carefully and look beyond physical appearance in order to find lasting relationship.

NOTE The above mentioned characteristics and quality are general features of a good husband material. Different women all over the world have different preference and might have other priorities while choosing a man for marriage.

Who is the best lovers between African men and white men?

Today on Dateafrikans we shall discuss African men vs white men

Last week I heard a couple of girls debating about this topic on a live broadcast. The panel had 8 women between the age of 25-50.This argument between 3 African/ African-American women, 2 Spanish women and 3 white women was so interesting such that I spent over an hour listening keenly.

At the end I decided to write this article based on their argument and other interviews I had with multiple women across different races. These points are based on personal experiences by these women as well as their friends and family circle.

The bottom line is men are men and will always be men no matter their age, race, national, religion or background. However there are some traits and characteristics attributed to certain category of men particularly from a race, religion or culture.

This argument has been going on for centuries and for the same reason will continue as long as the world continue to exist. Personally I don’t think it’s about Black or White but the individual per se. I know you have your own personal opinion but let’s take a look at the points made during the argument. I selected a couple of qualities and characteristics of men in order to put the arguments in shape.

  • Strength

One of the major points that kept rotating throughout the argument is strength. You might be wondering about the connection between “Love” and “Strength”, well here is the deal. Strength is application mentally and physically in every relationship.

A good number of women argued that African men or African-American men are way more stronger than White men both mentally and physically. Weak people are less likely considerate and can barely support another. African men are emotionally and physically stronger and can carry any weight on their shoulders. Strength as a quality can not be underestimated.

  • Romance.

Romance is another quality that constantly played out. According to the various arguments, White men are way more romantic than African men or African-American men. A couple of women also argued that romance is dependent on the perception of the person at the receiving end.

Both Black, Spanish and White women agreed that African men or African-American men are hardly romantic and partially expressive of their true emotions. Margret insisted that the African way of expressing love is weird and difficult to understand especially if you are not African or does not have someone who can put you down with it.

A White man will always give you roses and tell you how much he loves you as often as possible, he will take you on romantic dates, arrange colorful light and sweet music in the background just to remind you of how special you are to him. African men on the other hand seem cold when in a relationship, they hardly tell you romantic stuffs or give you assurance. They hardly say “I love you” or “I care about you”

  • Support.

One of the qualities that almost every woman is looking for in a man is support. Women deserve emotional, mental, physical, psychological and in some cases financial support. Majority of the women argued that African men or African-American men are way more supportive than White men.

Maybe this is as a result of the African culture where a man is mandated to take care of a woman’s needs. The white communities especially with the idea of “Gender Equality” place men in a position where they don’t necessarily have to support a woman. African men are very supportive in a relationship and can push you as a woman to become the very best.

  • S*x

There was heated argument on this point. The question “Who is better at s*x between African men or African-American men and White men” generated a heated and interesting argument. Many women argued that good s*x depends on various things and can only be majored by the individual woman at the receiving end. Some women prefer it aggressively; some soft and romantic, some with a combination of both while others prefer foreplay. Majority of the women argued that Black men are way stronger and can last longer in bed. Ashanti explained that it is very common to find White and Spanish girls chasing after Black guys all in the name of s*xual satisfaction.

Michelle insisted that she is White and has been with a couple of White and Black guys but she will chose black guys over White guys anytime for s*xual satisfaction. A good number of women alleged that White men are too soft and too weak s*xually. One might say s*x is not a necessary quality of a man in a relationship but 70% of the women I interviewed insisted that good s*x is very important in an individual’s life.

  • Cheating

This was one of the most controversial question throughout the entire argument. Majority of the women argued that Black men or African men have more cheating tendencies because of the African culture where a man can confidently marry more than one woman at a time. According to the arguments, African men are naturally polygamous and most of them are product of polygamy which makes them potential cheaters. The White societies promotes the idea of one woman for one man.

  • Caring

A good number of women insisted that African men are more caring. They are complex to deal with but once you understand them and their value system, they will worship you. White men on the other hand are also caring but not compared to the African folks. The African culture mandates a man to care for his woman, the African society sees a man through his woman.The African society does not portray a woman as equal to the man, the culture portrays a woman as a special being that should be cared for in every aspect

  • Fertility

Fertility received criticisms. A good number of people suggested that fertility should not be among qualities of a good man. However fertility is part of a relationship and most people are not with their partners today for the same reason. If you are considering having a child, an African partner is something you should consider. The fertility rate of White men is not a match to the African men

  • Honesty

Honesty is a special quality and a special way of expressing love. Where honesty fails, heartbreak is unavoidable. The argument on this point suggested that White men and African men share 50/50 on honesty.

African men tell quick lies for temporary pleasure while White men tell lies that can last for centuries and might never be uncovered. On a shallow scale African men are less honest, digging deep White men are less honest.

  • Protection

A good loving man should protect his woman from every harm. A protective man is a man that love and values his woman. According to the arguments African men or African-American men are over protective and can go to any level to ensure that their woman, her family and friends are protected.

You might slap an African Man and get away with it, but when you slap his woman, you may wake up with stitches on a hospital bed. African men or African-American men are way more protective than the White Men.

Conclusively, It is difficult to confidently say “who is a better lover between African men or African-American men and White men”. Love is a universal language that is not attached to a race, tribe, nationality, culture, or an individual’s background. It is much about the Individual.

Now after reading to the end, what lesson have you learnt? What did you agree or disagree with? Who do you think is a better lover between African men and White women?. Feel free to drop your opinion or suggestion in the comment box

Top 10 signs that your partner or spouse is cheating on you

Are you suspecting that your partner is cheating on you? Well if you feel it in your guts that you partner is cheating on you, it may be true.

You think he/she is cheating on you?

How can you find out if you are a victim of a cheating partner

These are the signs you should look out for if you are suspecting that your partner is cheating on you

  • Secretive Use Of Phones or Laptop

A cheating partner will do everything possible to protect themselves from getting caught. For that reason, they most protect their means of communication. A cheating partner is likely going to set a private password on his/her phone or laptop to prevent anyone from having access to it. By setting up a password they automatically prevent you from reading their text messages, social media chats and interaction as well as their contacts and call logs.

If you partner suddenly starts using his/her phone or laptop more frequently than before, it’s not a good sign. If you partner starts deleting messages and phone calls, if your partner starts clearing his browser history on daily basis, that’s not a good sign.

If your partner starts taking his/her phone to the bathroom or moving around with it while at home to avoid you getting closer to it, that’s not a good sign. If you ask to use or review your partner’s phone or laptop and they say no, that’s definitely not a good sign.

If there is nothing on the phone, why is he/she hiding it from you? Who is your partner protecting the information on the phone or laptop from? What is the sudden secret?

  • When Friends seem uncomfortable around you.

We all have friends; your friend’s circle usually grows bigger when you start dating someone. If your partner is cheating on your, his/her friends will know way before you do. Usually the victim of cheating is the last person to know what is going on. The cheater’s friend in most cases knows about the infidelity right from the start.

This information will definitely make anyone uncomfortable around you. The cheater’s friend might do two things in this scenario; they may either try their possible best to avoid you or simply become overly nice to you. Your friends on the other hand may become uncomfortable and try to avoid conversations about your relationship. Some of your friends may no longer feel comfortable spending time with you and your partner.

  • When your partner becomes hostile towards you and the relationship

You will notice a significant change in your partner’s behavior towards you when they are cheating on you. A cheating partner will always try to shift blame on you in order to justify their actions. They will place themselves in a position where they have a justifiable reason to look elsewhere. You no longer look the way you use to look when you started dating or first got married, you are no longer adventurous in the bedroom or you have suddenly become unappreciative of everything they have done for.

They suddenly start judging you for everything you do or say, nothing seem right anymore in their eyes. When you start feeling like nothing you do is right anymore, that’s not a good sign. A cheating partner will try to make you the bad guy in other to justify his/her actions towards you and the way he/her perceive the relationship

  • When your partner suddenly starts acting too nice

Some people are so sneaky and might try toconfuse you when you starts suspecting them. It may be that your partner recently discovered how important you are to him/her and how he/she has been taking you for granted so they want to make it up to you. In some cases, if  your partner starts acting too nice out of the blue, there is something fishy going on.Some people may cheat on you not because they don’t love or value you, not because they love the person they are cheating with more than you and not because their cheating partner is better than you. Cheating is a habit and sometimes addictive.

A cheating partner who at the same time does not want to lose you may use nice treatment as a cover up. Out of the blue your partner wants to send you on a luxury vacation with your friends, he or she wantyou to feel free and hangout with your friends, take more time for shopping and traveling with expenses all paid, shower you with unusual gifts and praises etc.

  • Unexplained Expenses

Cheating is expensive and requires a lot of money. The cost of cheating is way more than the cost of a regular relationship. Cheating cost hotel rooms or rented apartments, gifts, trips, food and drinks, and sometimes other forms of financial settlements.

Your partner’s sudden change in expenses is something you should also look out for. If your partner is still working on the job they use to but suddenly their expenses increase, if you suddenly see odd charges on your partner’s debit card or transaction alerts, If there is suddenly less money in your partner’s bank account,  If there is suddenly less money in your partner’s investment account etc. That’s a possible sign of infidelity.

If you ask your partner about these expenses and their answers seem untrue or made of excuse, there is a possibility that your partner is cheating on you.

If you suddenly start seeing large withdrawals by your partner, if you start seeing evidence of purchase or payments at place you barely know or visit, if none of these money or things your partner is purchasing is coming home or going to a family member, just know that something fishy is going on.

  • Sudden change and improved appearance

One’s appearance is very key and something you should always look out for. People don’t just improve their appearance for no reason. If your partner suddenly start looking sexy more than usual, there is something going on. Your partner may change his/her appearance in order to look better for but in some cases it might not be for you. Out of the blue your partner starts going to the gym and changes his/her diet, all of a sudden your partner starts wearing sexy and expensive clothes when they always preferred regular looks, there may be something fishy going on.

If she starts wearing makeup, fixing long nails and lashes all of a sudden, she might be seeing someone else. If all of a sudden he start getting nice hair cut, wearing matching outfits and using deodorants, he may be cheating on you. People don’t just improve their appearance for no reason, most times they improve for someone.

  • When your partner is becoming unreachable from time to time

There is high tendencies for a cheating partner to become unreachable from time to time. Your cheating partner is less likely to answer your phone calls or respond to your text messages and chats.

They will make excuses like they were in a noisy place, dead zones, in a meeting, driving or the phone was on silence. Your partner will be unreachable when they have to spend time with someone else, their phone may be switched off or placed on silence. When you partner is unreachable while on a business trip or during late working hours, that’s a sign that your partner is cheating on you.

  • Altered Schedule

A significant shift in your partner’s schedule is something you should also worry about. If your partner who was always returning from work on time suddenly starts returning late due to late works and it happens more frequently, that’s a sign that your partner may be cheating on you. When your partner starts spending extra time at work, at the gym, when they start complaining frequently about traffic jam, flat tires, dead battery, just know that something fishy is going on behind your back. When suddenly your partner need to start traveling for business trips or having weekend gateways, that’s a sign that he/she may be cheating on you.

  • Change in sexual activities

Sexual activities is something you should also look out for.Ifthere is a significant change in the sex, it means your partner may be cheating. If you partner suddenly starts introducing and changing sex positions, it means they may be learning from someone else and may be practicing with you.

Increase or decrease in sexuality could all mean your partner is cheating. Less sex means he/she is concentrating on someone and more sex means he/she is trying to cover up. Emotional attachment is another thing to consider, if he/she is not emotionally connected during sex, it’s a sign that he is she is cheat.

When your partner avoids the discussion or change the topic when you question them about cheating.

Cheaters are more like criminals, they never accept that they are doing it. A cheating partner may try to avoid the discussion or change the topic when you bring it up or question them about it.

A sneaky person is more likely to avoid taking routes that will expose theirs ecrets. If your partner is cheating and you bring the conversation up, they will do everything to avoid it or deflect.

Disclaimer: Your partner could display all or  some of the above mentioned signs and still not be cheating on you. When your partner is displaying all or any of the above signs, it therefore means something is not right somewhere which urgently needs attention.

8 key and essential habits for building a healthy relationship

What are the essential habits for building a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship is what every human being deserves. One of the basic key of living a healthy life is having a healthy relationship with your partner. Some of us have developed the skills and mastered the art and act of building healthy relationships from experiences and practices.

Building a healthy relationship is not a skill or talent acquired at birth. These are skills like any other skills that can be learned, practiced and mastered if one recognizes the needs and importance and is willing to take time and efforts  to develop them.

Everyone can become a builder and build a healthy relationship by clearing their mind, accepting, learning and practicing the basic necessary acts and behaviors.

  • How do you build a strong relationship?
  • What are the most important things we should consider in a relationship?

Here are few basic tips on how to build and maintain a healthy and lasting relationship.


Communication is very key in every successful relationship. One of the greatest practices in keeping a healthy relationship is your ability to communicate with your partner openly. Both partners should be able to talk about how they feel at any given time

Expressing your true feelings is very important in every relationship. Whatever you say or did not say could mean something and may influence the relationship in one way or the other. Holding back your true feelings could mean more trust needs to be build, it could also mean that one isn’t sure how the other will respond. It could as well mean one is afraid of being judged.

Communication in whatever form, whether verbal or none verbal can go a long way as it is the only way to share our true feelings with each other. The knowledge and information gathered from communicating with your partner can go a long way in solving problems that may emanate in the future.

In Situations where the communication has become unhealthy, when one partner sees the need to influence the other’s thoughts, it is very important to set boundaries and respect the boundaries. Setting limits and respecting the boundaries can also influence a healthy communication. A healthy relationship is one where boundaries are honored.


The ability to listen in a relationship is very important. Communication cannot be complete without a listener who is willing to listen. Everyone’s desire is to be heard, unfortunately only few people are thought and have the ability to listen. A good number of people spend more time thinking about what to say next instead of paying attention to what is being said. Both partners should feel relatively comfortable bringing up issues, expressing themselves and listening to one another.

Naturally we tends to bound with people who are always willing and ready to listen and pay attention to details. When a person’s emotions, needs or feelings are ignored or not well respected, the relationship suffer the consequences. It is vital for both partners to make time and space for each other. Be there and be willing to listen to your partner’s feelings and needs.

In a situation where any of the partner is disrespectful, demeans the other, ignores and sees the need to disrupt the other, the relationship can be considered abusive and unhealthy.


Trust is another important element for building a healthy relationship. Trust is very significant in every successful relationship. It is very important to have a personal relationship or friendship with your partner outside the romantic or intimate relationship.Trust is somehow difficult to build or manage and must be maintained in order to keep a healthy relationship

Trusting someone is more like knowing that they will do what they say they will do, when they say they will do it and when they say they will do it. Trust in a relationship is knowing and believing that your partner is who he/she presents himself/herself to be. Trusting your partner in a relationship is also feeling free to spend time with others like family and friends without suspicion.

Once trust is broken, the relationship becomes unhealthy. Trust is difficult to build but easy to break. Once broken, it may take a while to rebuild.  A relationship can also become unhealthy when one or both partners start feeling jealous of the other spending time with other people in their life

A situation where one partner is suspecting the other of cheating,it may cause great damages to the relationship. The feeling of being cheated on is a nightmare. A scenario where one partner is constantly accusing the other of flirting with others and interacting with others behind their back, these could be signs of an abusive behavior and mistrust and may lead to isolation and depression.

Building trust in a relationship can go long way to protect the future of the relationship as well as protect both partners from becoming damaged.


Paying attention to your partner is very important. There are things that you must not be told or physically shown. We tend to appreciate people who notice what is going on in our lives even without being told. We remember, value, respect and appreciate those who ask us “Is Everything okay”, even if we haven’t told them that anything is wrong. This is a clear indication that needs no explanation of whether they are paying attention to us or not.

Pay absolute attention to your partner, the things they like and they things they don’t like, the things they do and the things they don’t do. When someone is talking, pay attention not only to what they are saying and the tone of their voice. Also pay attention to their facial expressions and body language. By doing so you will be able notice when their words don’t match their body language or facial expressions. Sometimes people can say one thing but feel another. This information will open door for a deeper and more meaningful conversation that may lead a greater understanding.

Paying absolute attention to your partner is a sure way of building deeper connections and better understanding which is necessary for building a healthy relationship.


The truth is there is no perfect relationship anywhere in the world. Disagreements are Normal in every relationship. Two different individuals can not be the same, think the same way and see everything the same way. It is common to have different opinions, preferences, beliefs, values and perceptions between two partners.

A relationship without conflict means both partners are obviously avoiding the conflict which is more risky and harmful to the relationship. Conflict in a relationship means something needs attention, something needs to be changed or worked on within the relationship. The most important thing is how couples deal with conflict not the conflict itself

The most respectful and intelligent way of working through disagreements in a relationship is by carefully listening to understand each other. Understanding is key when it comes to resolving conflicts and argument in a relationship. You cannot see someone’s point of view without proper understanding.

In some cases disagreements turn into fights and more frequently. Some  conflicts often escalates leaving the fear of bringing up issues of important. These are clear signs of unhealthy, violent and abusive relationship.


Remembering things that are important to others is another important habit for building a healthy relationship. It feels special especially when someone you love remembers and acknowledges what is important to you. This shows how much they pay attention to you and how much they know and value you. People often talk about the people and things that are important to them, just pay attention carefully and take notes

It could be family members, an event, a place, or a hobby. You can take note and create a portfolio about your partner that way you can always refer to it.

If you are careless and does not recognize or remember things that are important to your partner, they may feel unwanted, neglected and uncared for. These are signs of an unhealthy relationship that may lead to a lot of negativity.


Understanding your partner and having a mutual intimacy with your partner is very important for building a healthy relationship. Talk to your partner and pay close attention to issues of intimacy. Talk about sex, how they prefer it, when they prefer it, how often they want it and how much they want it. Sexual satisfaction is key and very important in every successful relationship.

Healthy relationships allows space for mutual connections and intimacy. Ensure to establish healthy boundaries and talk openly about your physical and emotional desires

Building mutual intimacy is very beneficial for both partners. If both or one of the partners is embarrassed or unwilling to say how they feel because of the fear of being judged, or they are worried that their partner may not listen or care, it will make the intimacy more stressful then enjoyable.

Feel free and create a free environment for your partner to say what they want, how they want it, when they want it and where they want it.


One of the greatest mistakes people make in relationship on daily basis is asking the wrong questions at the right time or asking the right questions at the wrong time. Knowing the right questions to ask and the right time to ask the right questions is an essential habit in building a healthy relationship. You may have the right questions but you also need to find the right time to ask the question.

Asking questions that are unconnected to a topic during an argument is not healthy. Questioning your partner about something or someone in public may not receive a good response.

Whatever it is, find the right time to talk about it.

In Conclusion

Building a healthy relationship is a collaborative effort by both parties involved in the relationship. These tips are applicable to every relationship and has been proven if practiced correctly.

The influence and effects of family on love -DateAfrikans

Relationship and marriage in African society

DateAfrikan -Family Love: Any serious relationship with an African requires family approval especially if the relationship is leading to marriage. Family is an integral part of marriage in the African culture.The African culture and tradition requires the presence of Family in almost every major decision that concerns love, serious relationship and marriage. Seeking family approval is the first step for marriage, both families must agree before anything serious can take place. The influence of family on love, relationship and marriage in the African society has great positive and negative impacts. Here is a simple breakdown

Family Approval

Family approval is key in any serious relationship. If one of the families disagree with the decision, nothing can go on. Have you ever wondered why? The answer is very simple. A serious relationship is one that is heading towards something tangible like marriage. However, marriage in the African culture and tradition requires the presence of both families. A man must first introduce the girls to his own family for his family’s approval after which him and  his family will travel to the woman’s family to seek for her hand in marriage. Both the man’s family and the woman’s family must agree on this decision before anything else can take place. Both families take into consideration the following before approving their children to continue with the marriage

  • Family background. Both families must embark on a family background research before approval. They ask questions like where is our in-laws from? Their tribe, clan, religion and sometimes the entire history of the family. They will trace to know recurring family behaviors and traits. Both families dig into past, present and future political, economical, traditional, and geographical statues before making a final decision. This decision in some cases is not based on the love between the man and the woman but the family’s perception

Family Interest Family interest is one of the major factor to consider while discussing the effects of Family on African love, relationships and marriages. The family comes first before anything else. The two lovers are supposed to consider their interest and the interest of their respective families.In some circumstances, family interest overrides the interest of the two lovers intending to get married. The two lovers must take into consideration the following before taking the next step

  • Family’s position. The two lovers intending to get married must consider their family’s take on the relationship.What is your family’s take on the relationship? Are they in support of the relationship or they are against it? At this point the two lovers are not looking at their love for each other but their family’s position. If the family is against the marriage at this stage, it will be difficult for the relationship to continue. If for instance one family is in support and one is against, it is the duty of the family in support to convince the other.
  • Family choice. Some families go as far as choosing a partner for their children. For different reasons, some families choose life partners for their children. Forced Marriage is one of the things that affects Love, relationship and marriage in the African society. There are several cases of parents forcing their children into marriages for their selfish benefits or reasons

Family Support. Family support is very key in every serious African love relationship and marriage. The African traditional marriage cannot take place without the support of both the man’s family and the woman’s family. Traditional marriages are big occasions that must follow a due cultural process requiring both families to participate. The African traditional marriage rites involves the man’s family openly declaring their interest to the woman’s family and presenting the necessary requirements to the bride’s family who in return handover their daughter to the groom’s family. An African traditional marriage cannot take place without the involvement of both families. This explains the crowd at Traditional African marriages where Parents, siblings, extended family members, traditional rulers, family heads,family friends, friends of extended families, well wishers, gossipers, passerby and members of the entire community are present to witness the occasion. The main discussion on the wedding day is between the groom’s family and the bride’s family. In some rare cases, especially in the past, the presence or the groom is not necessarily required.

 Major Decisions. Major decisions revolves around family in African marriages. First, family must approve, support, participate in the process of marriage.Lastly, the future of the marriage can also be decided by the family. The man and woman must consult their respective families before marriage and to an extend the man and his wife must consult their respective families before making decisions after marriage. The entire process of marriage in the African tradition requires active family participation from the start to the end. Some of the decision that requires family involvement after marriage include;

  • Divorce. Divorce in African marriages is complicated especially if the woman is the one seeking for a divorce. It is easier for the man to get divorce but difficult for a woman especially if her husband is not willing to give her the divorce. Traditional marriages are respected but not legally accepted by the state laws until registered with the court in form of Court marriage. For this reason, dissolving a traditional marriage is a decision taken by the man and his family with the woman’s family. In some cases the woman’s family is required to return the bride price and sometimes with other things that was given during the wedding ceremony to the man before he can free the her. The man on the other hand can simply return the woman to her parents if he can no longer continue with the marriage. In a case where a man returns the woman to her parents, he may no longer be entitled to the bride price.
  • Child Naming. Child Naming is not just a decision taken but the man and his wife. The both families must be actively involved or consulted. However, the man and his family has the final decision. Almost every African Child has more than one name, a name or names from grandparents (If they are alive), a name from the father, a name from the mother and sometimes other names from family heads. The child’s last name or surname must come from his/her father’s family. In most cases the child’s last name or surname is taken from his/her grandparents.

Conclusively, Love, Relationship and marriage in the African society depends heavily on family which can cause negative or positive effects. The family you come from, the tribe, religion or geo-political zone you come from can affect and influence your love life, relationship and marriage in the African society.


What is Family Love?

Today on DateAfrikans, this article will expose you to African family love. This might sound weird to you but at the same time it makes more sense than how it sounds. I grew up with my mom and siblings after my dad passed away since when I was less than a year old. My mom never told me for once that she love me or care about me, she never hugged or kissed me.

None of my elder brothers or sisters ever said they love me or cared about me. Trust me this will end disastrous in a Spanish, European or American home. One thing I can guarantee you is that I am the most loved person in my family.

How do you know an African mum, dad, siblings or family members love you?

How do you know your African parents really  loves you?

  1. They will make sure that you are not hungry
  2. They will make sure that your life is not in danger
  3. They will provide you with basic needs not wants
  4. They will protect you against anything/anyone and can use the last drop of blood in their body to defend you
  5. They will brag about you and praise you in your absence
  6.  They will correct you when you are doing something wrong (Well, they might whoop you to correct you)
  7.  You will receive gifts during festivals or celebration seasons
  8.  African parent will show you love by making sure that you are educated even if it means selling everything they have
  9.  He/she will encourage you to work hard and become a better person
  10. They will make crucial decisions only in your interest. Some Africans are not happy in their marriages but they choose to stay because of their kids. They understand how divorce will affect their children’s growth so they rather sacrifice their happiness to build their children. Many marriages among Africans are surviving today because of the children involved
  11. An African parent can lay his/her life down for his/her child to live. A parent that will rather die for you to live is a parent that loves you. They don’t need to say it but you already know based on the experiences you have had with them.
  12. They will connect you spiritually. Your spiritual background is likely to be determined by your parents or culture. Some Africans are Christians, Muslims or African ancestral worshippers. Africans generally believes in the existence of God and other higher forces. An African parents that loves you will introduce you to his/her spiritual beliefs. The importance of spirituality can never be underestimated.

How to know if your African children really love you as a parent

  1.  An obedient child. Children that obey their parents or family do so out of Love. Obedience is a way of understanding, respecting and appreciating what someone has done for you. African Children are trained  to respect and obey their parents/family out of love. African parents feel loved when their children obey them. Yes some children respect their parents out of fear of being whooped.
  2.  A child that takes care of his/her parents. You don’t have to  send your parents beautiful text messages to make them feel loved. All they want is a child that will take care of them when they grow older. A child that loves his/her parents will start making efforts at a tender age. A child that is willing to take family responsibilities is a child that loves the family.
  3.  A child that assists his/her parents. Assistance is very important and can go a long way to symbolize love in Africa. A child that is always willing to assist his/her parent(s) is definitely doing it out of love. A child that helps in the kitchen, on the farm, at home etc. Is a child that love his/her parents. Pay their loans when you have some money, provide for them like they did for you.
  4. A child that protects family interest. Africans believe in family over anything else. Family’s interest comes first before anything else. A child that loves his or her family will definitely put family first while making important decisions

How to make a girl/woman fall deeply in love with you – DateAfrikans

Make a girl or woman go crazy about you today and forever.

In this article on DateAfrikans we shall expose you to secretes on how to get a girl or woman addicted to you forever!

If you have been wondering how you can make that girl/woman  fall  deeply in Love with you, then this article Is specifically for you. A woman is a special gift from God to a man. In order to enjoy a woman to the fullest, she must be completely in love with you. Women are very sensitive and tends to pay absolute attention to details, they are moved by what they hear and what they feel. If you want a girl/woman to completely fall in love with you, first you should consider doing the following

  1. Pay absolute attention to her. Pay absolute attention to her, what she likes and what she hates, what she wants to do and what she doesn’t want to do. Pay close attention to details and everything around her. When you pay attention to a woman you will understand her strength and weakness. With this information you already have the key to her heart. Girls and women loves attention so much. The more you pay attention to her, the more space she will create in her heart for you.
  2. Always give her compliments. Women love compliment especially when it’s coming from her man. Tell her she is beautiful as often as possible. Recognize the changes on her and whatever she does to look more beautiful. If she cook for you, remember to appreciate her and tell her how sweet the food is. Tell her how beautiful she looks in every dress she wears, how beautiful her new hair looks, how beautiful her nails are. Let her know how lucky and proud you are to have her as your woman. Girls/women takes compliments very serious at all times
  3. Give her assurance. Women love to be assured. Giving a woman assurance is one of the thing that will keep the fire burning in your relationship or marriage. She constantly wants to be assured. Combine romantic words and follow up with actions. Let her know that there is no hope or space for someone else, let her see that the relationship is heading somewhere tangible.
  4. Take her on dates. Dates are very crucial in sustaining  and spicing up love life. Your relationship is incomplete if you don’t go on dates with your partner. Make out time to take her out on a date, do this more often, go to new places and try new things. Take her out to see a movie, take her to the beach, take her to a fun park, take her out to new restaurants, events and engage her in fun activities. Taking a woman out on a date will expose you to deep information about her and this might be all you need.
  5. Surprise her with gifts. It mustn’t be expensive or things with financial benefits. Women love to receive gifts as surprises from whoever they are committed to. Give her roses, buy her a dress, shoes or jewelries. If you are rich, surprise her with exotic cars, expensive jewelries and luxurious vacations.You can surprise her with gifts on occasions like her birthday or festivities. Pay attention to things she love and surprise her with them
  6. Show compassion. Women love men who are compassionate towards other people. Be kind to her and others especially when you are around her.You don’t want her to see you are a bully or bad person, she wants someone who care about other. This will guarantee her Mental and physical safety around you.
  7. Always be ready to listen to her. Sometimes women are not telling you something for you to do anything about it. Give her the chance to talk to you about everything without judging her. Be willing to listen to everything she has to say. If she is comfortable  telling you everything, she definitely consider you her best friend.
  8. Show her to the world. Be proud of her and show her to the world. Showing her to the world will increase your chances of caving a permanent place in her heart. Post her on your social media handles, go out with her and hold her hand in public. Putting her out there will surely give her the feeling that there is no one else.
  9. Support her through everything. Always take her side no matter what. When she is wrong, take her side in public and correct her in private. Always give her a shoulder to lean on in every situation. When you become her support system, you automatically occupy the biggest place in her heart. Be ready to be her backup at all times, through the bad and good.
  10. Make her your best friend. Make sure you are the best friend she has ever had! Let her be your best friend who you can share everything with. Once she sees you as her best friend, your place in her heart will grow even bigger. Work on making a strong friendship bounds

Conclusively, she will become addicted to you like a drug if you do the above tips right. She will never leave because she won’t be able to do without you.